Where are the Saltines?

Who ever heard of getting through your first trimester, only to wake up the next two mornings sick as a dog?  Are you serious???  It took me an hour to get out of the bed this morning.  I am hoping for a better morning tomorrow, maybe this was just a fluke thing.

So, I ran into a good friend at the grocery store, Michael.  A true Southern Gentleman, which unfortunately is a dying breed.  I told him about our "adventure" and this is what he said:

"If K dies before me, and then I die and wake up to realize that he is living just a couple houses down - well, then, I will know that I am definitely on the right street.  It's one thing to live with your wife when she's carrying your baby, but to live with her when she's carrying someone else's baby, well, that's just dedication."

LOVE IT!!!  Because it is so true!  I knew what I was signing up for, but for K and the kids??? They've just had to jump on board and ride it out.  And Michael is right, K is a saint!  He loves N like she was his true sister.   I truly can't put into words how much I appreciate his support and the support of his family. 

12 WEEKS!!!!!

12 Weeks, 12 Weeks, 12 Weeks!!!!! YEAH!!! We made it to the first trimester!  This is a major milestone for us! 

We are scheduled for our first Dr visit next Wednesday for a little meet and greet and hopefully, they will be able to hear the baby's heartbeat!  It might be too early, but maybe...then off to the hospital to pre-register.  This should all be interesting to see how they handle this situation.  The nurse at the Dr's office told me that she didn't exactly know what was going to happen at the first visit because of the extraordinary circumstances...we'll wing it! :)

We all had a wonderful Christmas - hope you and yours did as well....
N&J were able to "rub my belly" over the holiday!!!  Here's to the NEW YEAR - I must say, I'm glad to see this one ending and looking forward to 2011!

P.S.
Happy Birthday to our dear friend, Joe!  He is in ICU with a serious head injury, we are all praying for a miracle!  His wife, Linda, was our babysitter when we were little, so she's pretty special to our whole family...

11 WEEKS

We are so thankful for every week that passes!!!  One more under our belt will really keep our spirits high.  Hoping to see our regular OB/GYN in the next couple of weeks.  Finishing up all of the hormones at the end of this week - YEAH!  I'm sure K will be extremely happy - I think I may have been a bit hormonal over the past few months!  ;)

Thank you so much for your continued prayers and well-wishes! 

The little things...

What a week!  Three deaths this week and a dear friend in ICU with a serious head injury...again, we say how grateful we are for our little miracle.  It never ceases to amaze me how things can change in just an instant.  I definitely feel like we have our personal bright spot in our little world right now. 

We are 10 weeks today and going strong.  Still sleepy.....actually had to lay down a take a little cat nap this afternoon.  Only 1 1/2 more weeks of hormones - YEAH!!!  My husband will be OH so very happy....

SO GRATEFUL!!!

OK - it's official, I wore maternity pants today!  I guess when you are pregnant for the fourth time, your body just says "Forget it!  I give up! Put on those stretchy pants!"  But hey, if there was a ever a time to wear stretchy pants - I believe the holidays are definitely the time!

We are now just waiting for my local Dr. to set up our 12 week check up.  We are 9 weeks and 1 day....sometimes I still can't believe that we have made it this far.  It is truly a miracle and we are so grateful.  We are having dinner at N & J's on the day after Christmas - can't wait!  But there is a Cookie Exchange that I'm craving before that...

Hooray for stretchy pants! 

Last Shot Day!!!

Woohoo!!!!!  Today is my last shot!  I can not even tell you how excited that I am.  Now, I'm on capsules, I take two a day and they make me extremely sleepy....I'm on those for 3 weeks...so, who knows, I may sleep right through the holidays!  Especially with no caffeine.   Thanks for following along and all of your sweet comments! 

HEART BEATING AWAY!!!

N&J, our mom and I all went to the ultrasound yesterday.  We saw the heartbeat instantly!!!  And a lot of growth.  There is only one, but that's all we need so we are very grateful.  At this point, the Dr. said that there is a 95% chance of a viable pregnancy to term.  YEAH!!!! 
I feel fine, just tired...but that's to be expected.  Doc put me on a different medicine to get me off the shots.  My last shot is Saturday night!! WOOHOO!!!!  New medicine will make me sleepy, but what's new?!

Again, we are so grateful - here is a picture of N & J's little miracle baby (I think she looks like N & I! - Just a prediction!)

YEAAHHHHH!!!!

We have a heartbeat!!!!  The Dr. saw it immediately!  N and I were about to come unglued!  And then he showed it to us, it was plain as day to see!  What a wonderful Thanksgiving this will be!  He only saw one, and is pretty confident that there is only one, but we go back for another ultrasound the week after Thanksgiving for another look at the heartbeat and for confirmation on the number!  I can't tell you how much we appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers and well-wishes! 

The baby is .337 cm - amazing!!!  Thanks, again!

Phrase of the Day

A long time ago I mentioned that N was a nurse for handicap children...we are pretty partial to one  - she is 3 years old and blind, because of a tumor on her brain.  She also doesn't speak on her own, but repeats things that she has heard her mother say.  So, we have her "phrase of the day".  It's a bright spot in my day.

Today's Phrase is "Thank you, Jesus".....just made me feel better!  :)

Pins and Needles and Needles and Needles and Needles

N spoke to the nurse and they would like for us to keep the Friday appointment...they feel that they will be able to give us some sort of answer by that point.  I have called my personal OB/GYN nurse, who has been my nurse for the past 15 years - and she has told me that if we do not feel that we have any results from Friday's appointment, then we will go to their office and they will conduct another ultrasound. 

Needless to say, N and I feel good about everything.  But the "not knowing" is still excruciating.  just pushing positive thoughts to the forefront of my mind. 

The good news is that I can barely feel the shots any more - funny how a scare like we have had puts everything in perspective! 

So, we'll head up there on Friday and hope and pray for the best...thanks to all of you who are praying along with us...

Roller Coaster

Well, it's been a pretty rough 24 hours...I started bleeding last night, so you can imagine the thoughts that were running through my mind.  Fortunately, I was at home with my husband.  I called the Dr's office and the nurse immediately called me back.  She told me to put another patch on and to increase the progesterone shot from 1.5 to 2...and that the Doc would call me in the morning with further instruction. 

Calling my sister was the very hardest call that I ever had to make...but she was wonderful, as usual, and her main concern was me!  Then J called me to make sure that I was OK again.  The hardest part of this process is how bad I feel for N & J because I know that they must feel helpless...and then how bad they feel for K and I...it is a vicious cycle and we only get through it because of how much we all love and respect each other. 

This morning the nurse asked how soon could we get to Jacksonville?  Needless to say, we were ready and on the road in 15 minutes.  N & J met us there...

The ultrasound with the doctor was a bit confusing, but I believe this is the bottom line:
There is something there, he thinks that it is the gestational sac, but not for sure.  My uterus is tilted, so it is very hard to see.  He was unable to see the Yolk Sac, but told us that is was really early and again, my tilted uterus didn't help. He said that he couldn't say whether I had miscarried or not, that it was just too early to tell.  He did say that 20-25% of their IVF patients had bleeding during the first trimester and still carried to term.  So, that was comforting.   Our appointment to see the heartbeat was suppose to be this coming Friday, but at this point I believe we are going to try and postpone it until next Tuesday. We are hoping that we will be able to see more at that point.  His closing remarks were, "Well, it will either get much better or much better."  And to think, that I have wasted my God-given talent of sarcasm for all these years - why didn't I become a fertility doctor??!!!

After N got home she looked online, and confirmed that bleeding in IVF patients is not uncommon at all.  So, she also feels much better.

So, we are going to stay positive and just keep looking up and pushing forward.  We have so many family and friends praying and pulling for us.  There are too many positives to even think about feeling negative.  They say that tears cleanse the soul, so I think N & I are starting the week squeaky clean.  

Thank you all for allowing us to share our amazing story...  

Pregnancy signs

Well, I have insomnia - so I'm definitely pregnant!  And I am soo tired, but just can't sleep!  Not a whole lot to share, we are just on the countdown for the November 19th  ultrasound.  Isn't it crazy how we just go from one date to the next.  There's always something to look forward to!  I let N do all the worrying, she's really great at it and does enough for the both of us.  I just live in my own little fairy land where All is Good! 

Again, thanks to all of you who text and email us well wishes, it means so much to us! 

We'll keep you posted...

Still POSITIVE

Second pregnancy test showed a HCG level of 766!!!  We're cooking now!!  Still a great number.  The next step is the ultrasound on November 19th.  The Dr actually likes to do his own ultrasounds, so we'll be seeing him again. 

N & I are still pumped, as I'm sure that you can imagine.  It still truly amazes me that we have made it this far.  So very thankful!

Still pumping those shots every night.  N treated me to a deep tissue massage on Thursday to try to loosen up the knots...MiMi was great and did a fantastic job...but unfortunately, they were back again by Friday...so we're going to try ice and then moist heat.  Still, a very small price to pay for this miracle!

We'll keep you posted!

IT'S POSITIVE!!!!

We are PREGNANT!!!!  To say that we are over the moon would be an understatement!  The appointment was at 10:30 am, but the nurse said that it would be afternoon before they called us.  N and I offered to drive the blood vial to wherever, but they declined!  So, while we were each on our way home - they called N with the good news!!!  Then of course, her phone died and it took her 10 minutes to turn off and re-boot. 

My HCG level is 313, which the nurse said was fairly high....for once, this is a good thing!  As she said, "there's at least one in there!!!"  So, next is another blood test this Friday and then an ultrasound two weeks from Friday to see the heartbeat(s). 

This is truly one of the most amazing and beautiful things I have ever witnessed....a precious miracle to my sister and brother-in-law.  Incredible happiness for our entire family...thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and well wishes.  I have a plaque in my kitchen that says, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."  To say that N and I were "breathless" today would be an accurate description. 

We'll keep you posted...

Anxious, anxious, anxious

Tomorrow is the day!!!!  Our appointment is at 10:30 am for the blood test.  They will call N later on in the day with the results.  Which really stinks, because we are both so worked up about this appointment and all we get to do is walk in and walk back out with no more than we came in with...

Hopefully, they will call her back early!  This past week and a half has been very long to get through...but we both feel good about tomorrow....I was a little reserved on Sunday, and then my neighbor said it all - "Where's your faith, little lady?"   Pretty good advice, I thought.  So, here we go - full of faith that it will all work out. 

Off for my shot!  Don't ever expect a video blog of this - I know some do that, but there's no way that I want to broadcast my pale behind all over the free world.  We'll pass on that one....just use your imagination!  :)

We'll keep you guys posted!!!  Thanks for checking in.

SLOOOOWWWW MOTION

This is worse than watching paint dry...I never dreamed I would be this antsy.  Fortunately, N & J are out of town...hoping they are having a great time.  I haven't spoken to her which is for the best for both of us.  I'm sure she is as nervous or more so than I am. 

Not much to post about...shots are going pretty good, I just sleep with a heating pad every night!  :)  That helps a lot! 

Talk to ya later!

WE HAVE A TRANSFER!!!

What a day!!!  Both couples went to Jacksonville today for the transfer, to say that we were all on edge is probably a bit of an understatement.  But after being together for a few minutes and throwing a few jokes around, we all settled down a little.  The Dr. called us back and told us that there was one Blastocyst Embryo and 4 Morula Embryos.  A Blastocyst is the ideal type that you would want to have transferred.  It is strong and has developed to this stage after 5 days, leading to a higher success rate.  N & I were a little disappointed that there was only 1 Blast - we even were discussing implanting 3 instead of 2, just to increase our chances.  J disagreed, arguing that we needed to stick with the original plan.

The clinic was as "busy as a hive" as our Dad would say...so our appointment was delayed for 15 minutes.  "Thank you, Lord" as our Mom would say, because the Dr. came in and said, "Guess what?  Good news - we have another Blast!!!"   So he implanted two Blasts!  The procedure was fairly quick, and then recovery room time was just 30 minutes.

We all 4 were more much at ease after the procedure...it's unbelievable how emotional this process can be on  everyone involved. 

So, I am tilted back at the present moment - on bed rest until tomorrow morning.  My K has been very supportive - he's cooking supper and getting ready to give me my daily shot.  What a guy!! 

We go for our first pregnancy test on November 3rd...they tell you not to take a home pregnancy test because of inaccurate results....whatever....

Thanks again for all the emails, texts and phone calls - we all appreciate every one's thoughts and prayers more than you can imagine.

Here we go........

OK, tomorrow is the day!!!  The procedure is at 11:00 am.  Both couples are going to be there.  I just spoke to N and we can hardly believe we have finally made it!!!  So exciting! 
The procedure only takes a couple of minutes, and then they hold me in recovery for 30 minutes.  This is not nearly as in depth as N's retrieval procedure.  Then it is bed rest until Monday morning.

Stay tuned....

SUNDAY IS THE DAY!!

Dr. just called N.  There are 11 eggs that are Grade 2 and 2 eggs that are Grade 3.  So, that means out of the 18 eggs that were captured, 13 of them were fertilized!!!  So, they are going to implant 2 of the Grade 2 eggs in me on SUNDAY!!!!!

N is feeling better, she was still pretty sore yesterday.  My shots are going really good so far.  K does an excellent job and I really appreciate him for stepping up to the plate to do it.  I don't know that I could give someone a shot, I would probably end up on the floor.  Here is a hint if you are taking shots, take all the weight off the leg where the shot is going - MAJOR difference in the aftermath.  The nurse told me to do that, but I "forgot"....will definitely not forget again.

Procedure is at 11:00 on Sunday, then I have bed rest that day and night and then I am good to go.  Then the first pregnancy test is a week and half later. 

We are so thankful, I can not even put it into words.  Thank you for all of your prayers and support.  Some people have asked me how to "follow" the blog - if you look at the top left, there is a link that says "Follow".  Just click it and it will give you the option to follow publicly or anonymously. 

Thanks again for all of the support....

RETRIEVAL

N did great!!!  She is sore and tired, but the Dr was happy how the retrieval went.  They were able to get 18 eggs!!!!  Isn't that amazing?!  So at this point we wait until Thursday afternoon for the 2 day reading.  Transplant will be either Friday or Sunday! 

Thanks for remembering us!

Retrieval Eve

My ultrasound went great today!  Dr. was measuring the lining of my uterus (sorry, guys - don't mean to gross you out).  They wanted to see at least a 7, but being the over-achiever that I am, it measured an 11!  And being the over-achiever that SHE is, N has about 20 eggs at last count!!!! 

She and J are at a hotel tonight - she goes in around 7:00 am tomorrow morning for the retrieval!  My first progesterone shot wasn't bad at all and N said the same about her trigger shot, so that was a big relief!

We had a great day together!  Dr. remarked again how much we look alike - we told him that we hoped that helped!  :)
It is truly amazing how all of this works! 

TRIGGER TIME!!!

OK - N just called me - she just had her trigger shot!!!  YEAHHHHH!!! And the best part - it didn't hurt like she has worried about all day!  So happy we have made it this far.  Thank you for all the best wishes and mostly the prayers....

m

TRIGGER DAY!!!

Doc decided that N will take the trigger injection tonight, so here it is....the week we have been waiting for!!  I go to the Dr. tomorrow for an ultrasound - Retrieval of N's eggs is Tuesday - Transplant will be sometime Friday, Saturday or Sunday!!!! 

We are so excited and relieved all at the same time!!!  Thanks for following...

COUNTDOWN!!!!

N just got out of the Dr's office and here is the plan...he has lowered her dosage of estrogen, and is trying to hold her off until tomorrow, but may have her take the trigger injection either tonight or tomorrow.  This is what stimulates the eggs to get them ready for the retrieval.  So, if she triggers tonight, then I go tomorrow for an ultrasound and the retrieval would be on Monday.  The transplant would follow 2-5 days after that, depending on how the eggs look.  Or she triggers tomorrow and everything is a day later...

WE ARE SO EXCITED!  N feels so much better this time.  Thanks so much for following along,,,,
m

Growing, growing, growing...keep those eggs 'a growing!

N went back for another ultrasound today - she has several 11's, a 17, some 9's....So, the next step is for her to have another ultrasound on Sunday morning...we should know more at that time.  But what she and I have "surmised" is that the Sunday doc is going to refer her to the Monday doc and then maybe he will make the call for a retrieval on Wednesdayish....

N is a nurse for handicapped children and as always she has her favorite.  This little sweetie can not speak for herself but she mimics what she hears her mother say...needless to say, she's a Hoot!!!  So, our family has become use to the Quote of the Day from the sweetie - And the quote for the day from N's little  patient:::  THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!!

  Keep praying everyone...

Eggs-a-growin...

They are still growing....N went to her ultrasound today and the eggs measured as follows: a 12, an 11, a 9, some 8's and 7's....her estrogen level is close to 500...that is up from 167 last week.  She goes back for another ultrasound on Thursday.  The eggs and estrogen level should start growing faster toward the end.  

So, here is the process for those of you that are curious:  
At some point (hopefully, sooner than later), they will decide that the eggs are ready and they will tell N to take her trigger injection...this will stimulate the eggs and get them ready for the retrieval.  The next day, I will go have an ultrasound to make sure that my uterus is ready. The following day N goes in for the retrieval.  At that time the eggs are fertilized and then the "watching" process begins.  At any point between 2-5 days, they will call me in for the transplant, 5 days being ideal.  They will put in the two strongest eggs.  We should know if the process was successful anywhere from 2-4 weeks.  

Now this is all in VERY layman terms, but you get the jest of it....

EGGS ARE GROWING!!!

The eggs are growing, sloooowwwwlllyyyyy but surely!  As long as they grow, so we can have a successful retrieval!  The original date for retrieval was suppose to be the 11th, but N is thinking that they are going to push this back because they won't be big enough.  So,,,,she goes tomorrow for another ultrasound, we should know more then. 
Last Lupron shot was yesterday!  And as I kicked her sorry butt out the door, she left me with a killer migraine.  Just a little something to remember her by....sweet girl that she is.  
Tomorrow is a 4 patcher day!  Here's a riddle:  A woman wearing 4 estrogen patches on her belly, who has gained 5 lbs in the last 2 weeks, and is only allowed Tylenol and 8 oz of caffeine per day walks into the clinic to stand in line in order to get a flu shot......  how do you think that went, ladies and gentlemen???

RIGHT ON TRACK!!

"Everything looks good, you're right on Track,"  - Dr's remarks for Niesa!!!  WHEW! What a relief, I know that I feel better, hopefully, N does too....She goes back to Dr. for another ultrasound on Wednesday.  Her measurements were a few 4's, a few 5's and one 7!  We'll take it!

NERVOUS NELLIE

N goes for a sonogram tomorrow to see if the eggs are growing...this past week has been horrible for her as far as headaches.  She also has back pain, which is concerning.  She is nervous that the eggs are growing too fast...we really really need some good news.  The Lupron is making her weepy, but I, on the other hand, could go postal at anytime.  Especially, when everyone from the Nurse to Dog Groomer is taking advantage of her. 

I know if we can just get to the retrieval that this will work..We will know soon enough!  At this time the Retrieval is set for October 11th and Transplant is October 16th.   Will keep you posted...

Lupron is the Devil!!

Have you ever had a headache for 3 days?  N and I have!  I truly I would feel better if I could crack my head on the counter like you would an egg.  Wouldn't it relieve some pressure?  And guess what - you can only have Tylenol, that's Lupron's way of saying "Bite Me!"....

Ohhhh well,  it will all be worth it!!!!!

Here we go again!!!!

Back in the saddle - I just started my Lupron shots again this morning!  After speaking to Nurse Nan yesterday, I think that it is going to go much faster than last time.  N will start her IVF shots next week.  Everyone keeps telling us that they have a really good feeling about it this time....Hopefully, they are right and just not trying to make us feel better! 

U-Turn

OK - well the last week has been a total roller coaster.  Everything was going great.  N had 12 follicles (eggs) and then 15 and they were growing!  Then she went in on Tuesday and the Dr. measured them differently than the Dr. on call on Sunday.  Lesson to be learned: if at ALL possible - get the SAME Dr. to measure.  So, they postponed the retrieval for a couple of days - and then on Thursday, they scratched it all together.  Her estrogen was so high that they were worried she would over stimulate after the Trigger injection.  This would maker her very sick, it's dangerous.  So, we start over... I am to step down on the patches and then we both take Provera to get our cycles going again.  This all sounds very cut and dry to read it, but it's so much more than that.  It's devastating and N & J are just emotionally spent.  We'll see what the next few days bring us. 

Buckle Up!

We are approximately one week away from the Retrieval!!!  I am stoked, but N is so very nervous.  We are both so jacked up on these hormones, I'm amazed that we can talk to each other.  But as usual, we both seem completely normal to each other, it's all these other crazies that are surrounding us.  Of course, I feel sorry for our husbands, my children, family, friends and co-workers - but I think that it is our dogs that are suffering the most!  Poor guys, they are stunned at the Sybil in both of us! 

N went for another ultrasound this morning - 15 follicles!!!  Woohoo! They are growing like weeds.  
Agenda for tomorrow: My last Lupron injection and 4 patches!  I am praying that the headaches and other side effects, that I won't gross you out with at this time, will disappear by the weekend.  Lupron is truly the Devil's Spawn.  There is no doubt in my mind.  We both woke up at 5 am with screaming headaches.  
I'm sure that the patches will make up for the loss of the Lupron! :)
It's all worth it!  I wouldn't change a thing!